I’ve been trying this new thing out in my dating life- a little something called honesty. With the horrendous ending of my past relationship, I figured that being completely truthful with the next beau would lead to a relationship where nothing is hidden. You know, a relationship that rivals that of Barbie and Ken- a couple that happily gallivants and changes professions with not the smallest doubt that one may stray to G.I. Joe or that Bratz hoochie. In the past, I would have a fact, or two (or three hundred), which I would not mention or thoughtfully withhold from conversation (if we are trying to be politically correct). I would fail to mention a detail out of fear of being judged, questioned, or even left behind. In other words, I wanted to appear perfect as many of us try so often to do.
In meeting this new guy, I felt comfortable being open about my past. I laid everything out on the table- my flaws, how my relationship ended, my internal issues, my fears, etc. Anything that you could think of, I confessed. Rather than feeling vulnerable and frightened that he may sneak out as soon as I look away at the “spider in the corner,” I actually found it to be quite refreshing. My honesty led him to be very open, there was no pretending with each other, and in a sense it was therapeutic. I valued the honesty that was reciprocated and did not want it to end.
Somewhere along the lovely trail of Honesty Ave, we made a wrong merge onto T.M.I. Blvd, because I started to find out things that I could not handle or wish I had not known. For instance, when he nonchalantly admitted to kissing his best friend in the past, my immediate thoughts were
(a). His best friend is a dog- totally one of those weird guys that are make out with canines. Ew.
(b) His best friend is a guy…maybe we can go shopping in Georgetown together this Sunday!
(c) His best friend is female.
Unfortunately, “C” was the correct answer. I found myself using his honesty as a weapon in which I would attack him later on down the road. I used information about his ex-girlfriends, stored it into my memory files, and found some way to use it against him when I deemed necessary. In turn, I shared some things that ended up biting me in the rear down that same darn road! Over [one too many] Margarita’s on U St, I mentioned that I have a fear of relationships and overall commitment. As fate would have it, he used this against me during a later discussion. My “fear” had him question whether I was mature enough for a relationship or could even handle one. Yikes.
With this, I started to question this whole honesty crap and all of its glory. Was it even worth it? I started this journey with the intentions to hide nothing, only leaving me to wish that some things were left underneath my bed, nice and cozy where it is supposed to be. In approaching any relationship, one should always be honest and open, but when do you draw the line? Should you let your significant other discover things about you-good, bad, and ugly? Or should you be upfront from day one? In a relationship, can we handle the truth?
Born and raised in Maryland, Krystle grew up being quite the inquisitive and unique child! She was raised in a home with two loving parents and one older sibling. As a graduate of Towson University, Krystle’s life is centered around education- by day, she is an educator, and by night, she educates others through her writing. In her spare time, you can find her on a sectional with a huge bottle of water and her journal. In sharing her life with others through her writing, it is her goal to help her readers realize that they are not alone in this crazy world of dating and relationships!